In my world, I seem to have a bizarre magnet attached to me. Or at least I see things in an unusual way. But maybe not, perhaps we all have odd things happen to us. Some of us tune them out while others blow them out of proportion. I think I call them how they are, so I would like to start sharing some of my odd experiences with you. Actually, you need not be afraid because most of my stories involve humorous situations,
Let me start out with the most recent event. On March 9, 2008 I went to the store. The store is a magical place to attract odd events and people. This trip to the store went smooth. Then I had to get syrup.
I walked down the isle and started eyeballing the syrup. I was debating on whether or not to splurge on Mrs. Buttersworths or just go for Western Family. I decided to purchase Log Cabin because I just didn’t trust Western Family and Mrs. Buttersworths reminds me too much of my own figure so I didn’t want her. I reached for my choice and knocked over a giant bottle of Western Family syrup from the shelf. It came hurtling down and landed in such a way as to cause a great explosion of syrup that went mostly in my left shoe and up my leg. I was so shocked. I thought to myself, “Am I really standing in the middle of the isle with syrup in my shoe.”
The answer was YES! I wasn’t sure what to do, due to the massive amount of syrup my foot was swimming in. Why did I choose to wear flats. Why didn't I wear one of my 16 pairs of boots. They repel things so well - isn't that why cowboys and hookers wear them - to deflect unwanted things? None the less, I sloshed up the isle until I found an employee to help me. He was so understanding but a bit shocked by the presence of syrup oozing out of my shoe. He offered me a towel but I said I just need a bathroom.
I squished my way through the store to the bathroom, leaving a trail of sticky syrup that rivaled Hansel and Gretel. I hiked my leg up to the industrial sink and started rinsing my shoe out. Then I washed my foot. The pink soap didn’t work very well removing the syrup remnants. But enough was removed so that I could return to my cart and check out with some sort of dignity. I drove home and my car started to smell like IHOP.
Why does this always happen to me? Honestly, I haven’t had a weird experience for a while so I suspect that I have some coming down the pipeline. So I am telling myself to be prepared and to keep an open mind and retain a sense of humor.
-JaNeanne Dazley
Sunday, March 16, 2008
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