Shopping at Sears Can Be Embarrassing

Yes, it’s been months since my last blog, but know this, I have had many things happen - good, bad, and not so bad. I had to share this story that happened to me at Sears.

Part I
So, I was shopping at Sears. I’ll be honest, I usually don’t shop at Sears. It’s just not convenient to where I live and , well, we parted ways several years ago when I discovered Target and Old Navy. But, I happened to have some free time on my hands, and went shopping and found myself wandering from the food court to Sears. They were having an unbelievable clearance sale. Plus, they had some pretty cute stuff. Unfortunately, every woman in the area already knew this because they were all there at the same time. I just grabbed as many items that I thought I liked and checked out.

Once I got home, I evaluated my purchases and found a handful of things that didn’t work out. I put them back in the Sears sack and put the sack at the top of my stairs so I wouldn’t forget to take it with when I traveled back to the mall.

Part II
OK, this part is a little bit...well...something that women really find funny but men usually don’t. But, the story would not be complete if I omitted this part. My five year old and his friend got into my tampons. They were using them as rockets. Pink applicators covered the floor, while the white innards were found in various places. I quickly picked up the impromptu rockets and put them in a garbage sack.

Part III
Marlowe took out the trash, including my Sears sack. I chided him, as we were late leaving for the mall. He quickly retrieved the Sears sack and off we went. Then the horror began.

I stood in line to do my returns. A nice lady from India was helping me. I took out my receipt and said, “I have some returns”. Then I dumped out the contents of the bag onto the counter and to my horror a few pink tampon applicators along with a partially smashed diet coke can came out with the clothes. You know that scene in movies when everything is in slow motion and someone’s distorted voice is saying, “Nooooooooooo”. That’s how I felt.

I quickly put my hands on the foreign objects and scooped them up, all while maintaining strict eye contact with the sales associate. I felt that if I penetrated her eyes with my fierce stare, she wouldn’t dare look at the counter. I quickly stuffed the pink applicators into the diet coke can and then slipped it into my purse. I finished the transaction and fled like at bandit.

When I found Marlowe, I held up the diet coke can and rattled it. I said, “Listen to this. Do you know what that sound is? That sound is what fell onto the counter and Sears!” We had a laugh.

In the process of taking the trash out, Marlowe grabbed the garbage out of the boys room and threw it in the Sears sack thinking it was a garbage bag. The diet coke can was just a bonus from the sack being tossed into the outside garbage can.

It may be a while before I go back to Sears. Online shopping is much less embarassing.